Monday, September 30, 2013

How do I, say goodbye?

The time has come to say goodbye.  I've been mulling this over for a while and today it just all became very clear that I have to step away from this blog and step away from the world of the online for a bit.  If you follow and have been following for a long time then thank you so much for coming around and I'm sorry this is goodbye.

Here's the deal.  Life is rough and I don't want to just sit on here and post about the rough shit.  I'm having a hard time with my son.  I thought parenting would be so easy, but it's not.  I'm the mom who yells and that weighs heavy on me.  I didn't get a laid back child.  I did however get a child that I love tremendously.  To come on here and just post the fun we have would not be real and so I think I'd rather just not write about it at all.  I don't want him coming on here in 10+ years and questioning what I wrote about him.  I love him too much for that.

In less than a year 3 family members have passed away.  I've lived much of my life without having to deal with that kind of thing and as it turns out...I'm not good at it.  I'm having a hard time with it.  On top of that my step father is dying of cancer.  Most of you don't know him, don't know any history of him and you don't need to.  My Mom does and I don't write about things on here so I don't hurt her feelings.  He has been in my life for 30 years and on many different levels this is hard to deal with.

Today my car overheated and I know this means that it's done.  It's at the shop, but the chance of it getting fixed are slim to none.  Sadly the chance of buying another car is just about the same.  I posted a pic and it was brought to my attention that some may take the picture the wrong way.  It is so silly, but that was the icing on my cake.  Why?  Well, the same people that might judge me for that picture are people that would hate for people to judge them without knowing all the facts.  No matter what our situation is, we all need to be careful about how much judging we do of people.

You see, that is what this whole online thing is anyway right?  It's a place to share and a place to sit back and judge other people.  We might do it quietly, we might do it "publicly" by making mean comments anonymously.  We find people we like online, people who we think are the same as us but sadly...we really don't even know each other.  I dare say that it has made things distant between the actual people that might know me.  It has given everyone a window into my life so why come knock on the door and say hello and see what I'm doing when you can just peek inside.  That is my own fault.

So, I need a break.  I need to clear my head.  Instead of to you, I'm going to create a journal and do some good old fashioned pen writing to myself like I used to.  I'll be taking a blog break and taking a Facebook break.  I will however still post on Instagram.  I like pictures, Instagram still makes me happy.

I'm sure some of us will find a way to keep in touch.

1 comment:

  1. I'm definitely sorry to see you go and sorry you're having a tough time right now. But, I totally get it! I wish you all the best. =D