I realized something HUGE this week. I was lying in bed and started thinking about where I am right now and how I got here. How did I go from being the girl that ate fast food multiple times a day, drank a half gallon of diet soda and swam a couple days a week just so she wouldn't feel fat and lazy to the girl that is going to the gym 6 days a week, eats healthy and is constantly challenging herself to do something new. I thought the answer would be complicated. The truth of the matter is, it is so so simple.
I stopped telling myself I can't.
I didn't always tell myself that though. There was a time that I went for it and in some aspects of my life I still did. With regards to fitness and health, it all came to a screeching halt when I had my first surgery. I had never had pain like that. I had never had something that I had to challenge myself to overcome physically. I started down a path of destruction and while I would sometimes get going in the right direction I kept falling back into old habits.
Then I had another surgery. When I injured my knee I figured it was over. There were points that I truly thought I would never walk again. When I took my first steps I cried. In that moment I should have realized all the things I was capable of. Instead, I kept reminding myself of all the things I couldn't do. I can't walk up stairs, I can't run, I can't do a squat, I can't bend my knee all the way, I can't crawl on my knees...blah blah blah. It goes on and on. All of those can'ts piled up until it started seeping into other aspects of my life. I can't became my personal motto and the ability I gave two words to beat me down began.
How do I go forward now? How do I eat raw for 30 days? How do I do juice cleanses? How do I eat clean? How do I give up Diet Soda? How do I not drink? How do I work out as many days as possible?
Because I CAN.
You know what? You can too! I'm sure you have told yourself all the things I did. I hate the gym. I'm tired. I'm too busy. I work. I have an injury. I'm too fat to do that. I'm uncomfortable. The thing is...you will continue being all of those things if you don't do something about it! I was tired ALL the time. I woke up hungover EVERY morning and I didn't even drink! I got winded going up stairs. I absolutely HATED the gym and used the excuse "well, I'm just a swimmer."
All of those things were just ways that I told myself I can't. Now that I know that I can, I sleep good at night, I feel good, I have a ton of energy, I love going up the stairs, I think about doing lunges every time I walk down a hallway, or squats while I'm standing in the bathroom, I LOVE THE GYM and can't wait for the next time I go just so I can have someone kick my ass. I get literally PISSED at myself when my body won't lift something I want it to lift or do another rep of something I want it to do and instead of giving up I say FUCK IT because I know eventually I will do it!
How do I do all the stuff I do now, because I wake up every morning and tell myself I can. Maybe you should try it too!
Today marks my 2nd day of juicing for my Weak Bod to Greek God Challenge. I woke up this morning and was more tired then usual and a bit headachy. When my alarm went off for the gym I figured there was no way I was going. I knew if I tried I would likely faint. Instead of staying in bed I got up and went for a long walk. I listened to awesome music, drank a ton of water and got myself a green juice. I felt so alive and so happy and proud of myself for getting out of bed.
When I got home I knew I had to take my before pictures for the challenge. Typically all of my pictures I take by myself when no one is home..which is slightly ironic since I post them online for the world to see. Today I asked my husband to take them for me. I stood there confident and ready and now I can't wait to see what happens in 90 days.
It's hard to believe that not that long ago I wouldn't let my husband come in the room of my prenatal visits until after they weighed me. I sure have come a long way and don't miss that at all.