Friday, August 30, 2013

Sore loser.

Wow, it's been a while since my last post and oh what a post this is going to be.  I've thought for two days if I was going to write this, what I was going to say and blah blah blah.  Thing is, this blog is my journal.  It's a way for me to vent, to get stuff out, to air out my feelings so I can go back to feeling normal again.

With that, I give you an update on the Summer Challenge.  When I signed up for the challenge the rules were clear: submit pictures with a newspaper for date validation, submit after photos by August 18th, juicing should be part of your lifestyle and in the end there would be 5 male finalists and 5 female finalists and the community would pick a male winner and a female winner.

Somewhere along the line the rules started changing.

On Wed, August 21st we received an email from Fitlife saying that they were giving everyone additional time to submit their after photos and you now had till the end of the day to get them in.  I found this odd.  The deadline rule had been there from the beginning, why suddenly give more time and why take so long to announce it?  It also said there would be 3-5 finalists announced by the end of the week and the community would vote for the winner.  I just figured that they didn't get that many entries and were trying to get a couple more in, no biggie.  Later during the week I would learn that of 3000 entries, only 40 people submitted after photos.  The end of the week came and went though, and no finalists.  I started getting a weird feeling that I had been made a fool and the whole thing had been a false contest.

Now, that said, I did not pay to enter this contest.  It was free.  I also DID win a refurbished juicer, which was wonderful.  However, I work enough with corporations through the Non Profit I work with to know that nothing is ever really free.  As part of this challenge we were getting lots of information of programs and products we could buy and I'm sure I'm not the only one that bought.  While it is free, the Fitlife team is getting money somehow.

Onto this week.  Monday came and went, Tuesday came and went and still no finalists.  Suddenly on Wednesday there it was...the Summer Challenge announcement.  A winner had been selected, a man named Trevor.  Wait, what?  Where were the finalists?  Where was the female winner?  When was the community going to get to vote?  When that picture came through I was pissed.  I felt like I had been lied to and been part of something that wasn't legitimate.  I wasn't the only one.

On Thursday the winner's picture was posted again and a woman spoke up asking the questions I asked above.  I backed her and stated that I didn't think this was right either.  It was so hard to write anything on that wall.  Being in social media I knew two things would happen, there would be a backlash from the page's followers and I would be looked at like a sore loser.  I decided though, that didn't matter and what had happened needed to be brought to light.

The reason we were given was that of the 40 people that entered, Trevor was the only one that submitted his after photos with a newspaper so they decided that since he had made a great transformation he was the winner.  Wait, what?  I'm sure those of you that read this or know me know I had a picture with a newspaper.  I submitted it to them, I posted it on Instagram and Facebook.  I also got a couple comments from members of the Fitlife Team so they KNEW I had a photo with a newspaper.  Of course, since the rules are posted on a website that is ever changing and the submissions happen through a website there is no way to show that I did that.  I just have to know that I did and know that they are not being truthful.

As the comments went on many claims of mistakes came from Drew and I'm going to be honest here, I don't buy all of it.  The other woman that spoke up said she also submitted pictures with a newspaper and low and behold...they had made a mistake and had hers.  The solution, they would now open it up for voting between she and Trevor.  How this is right I have no idea. If I was Trevor I would be pissed, I mean if Trevor is out there...this guy already thinks he's the winner right?  I have my own thoughts of how this is all going to play out in the end but I will just wait and see.

Here's the deal, I didn't win.  I'm not a finalist and I don't really give a shit.  What I do care about though is that if someone's main claim is "we are all in this together" and they start changing rules and making the game unfair it becomes really clear that the motto is not being lived up to.  I got a ton out of the challenge.  It pushed me to better myself and gave me motivation and I am truly thankful for that.  I just think if you set rules, you keep those rules.  There are so many other ways this could have been handled if it were legitimate.  My Non Profit runs contests, and we follow the guidelines and rules that we set. While ours may not be in the magnitude of a $10,000 cash/prizes, I think that would only make Fitlife more careful that they follow their own guidelines.  I find it hard to believe that 39 people didn't submit an after photo with a newspaper, especially since a picture of some "finalists" showed up after the red flag was raised and some of them had a newspaper.  If that were indeed the case, instead of sending out an email on Wednesday to everyone stating that there was now extra time to submit photos, wouldn't you throw something out there that many came in without newspapers and everyone might want to resubmit?  So instead when I got that email I did nothing because I had already submitted my pictures WITH A NEWSPAPER.

I'm starting a new challenge on Monday with some friends and I can't wait.  It has nothing to do with Fitlife or Juicing Vegetables.  While I feel they have some good intentions I can't turn a blind eye to what happened and jump on the "they are doing good" bandwagon.  Here's to better results next time around!

Monday, August 19, 2013

Summer Challenge Complete!!!

I can't believe that the Summer Challenge is over!  How has 90 days past already??  So, let's recap shall we?  When I started the Summer Challenge I looked like this:

I weighed 226lbs and swam twice a week and that was it.  I hadn't put that bikini on in almost 10 years.  If you had asked me to post a half naked picture of myself online for the world to see I would have told you that you were crazy.  Signing up for that challenge and posting that picture changed me.  I looked at that picture and thought that while there were tons of things I would still like to fix it wasn't so bad.  I knew it could be better, but it was the first step in truly liking myself and appreciating what I had.

Today I look like this:

I weigh 209lbs and I work out at least 6 days a week.  I lift weights, I swim, I bike, I paddle...I do any and every bit of activity that I can.  I'm absolutely addicted to the fatigue feeling I get in my body after working out and the slightly sore feeling that is always present.  I sleep well at night, I have a ton of energy and just an overall positive outlook on myself and where my life is headed.

Since changing my lifestyle back in October of 2012 I have lost a total of 51 lbs.  I'm down 5 pants sizes and three shirt sizes.  I have not had soda in almost a year!  I juice, I eat clean and I take care of myself.

Do I think I'm perfect?  Nope.  Do I give over 100%?  Yep.  To me that is perfection right now.  Just continuing to give my all and becoming someone that I am proud of.  I'm proud to be setting these examples for my son.  He doesn't see a mommy that is tired and taking naps and overeating a bunch of crap anymore.  He sees a mommy that comes homes stinky and sweaty from the gym.  A mommy that bikes him to daycare most days when the weather is nice.  A mommy that juices in the mornings and gives him drinks of her yummy smoothies.

This weekend we went camping and had such a crazy physical adventure!  90 days ago this camping trip would have been MUCH different.  Even though I had already lost weight at that point I was not in the physical shape that I am now.  I made a video for my challenge that talks about this and you can watch that here:
I posted that video and my pictures yesterday on  Facebook and Instagram and the outpouring was amazing.  It still blows my mind when I get messages where I am told I am an inspiration.  The thing is, I get inspiration from all these people and their positivity and to think that I might be giving back to them is truly heart warming.  If I can help one person with their struggles to health and wellness then I feel like I have made such a good mark in this world and that means a ton to me.  The thing is, we all hold the key to our health and our success.  We all have ALWAYS had it.  Sometimes we just need to find the right people in our life that will help us discover and use our key.

I still have a long road ahead of me, but my key is out and I'm ready to open all the doors!!  I hope you choose to come through them with me!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013


We decided on this Donner Lake vacation to do something a little different that we hadn't tried before and take a float down the Truckee River.  The section where we would be going is really calm and I figure Leyton would have a great time.  While he doesn't love the water, he does love being on a boat and the paddle board so I figured a raft would be right up his alley.

He was so happy on that raft.  He was hanging his leg off the side, walking around, feeding the ducks, just having an absolute great time.  In fact, he was almost clueless to the fact that he was surrounded by water.

At one point he decided he wanted to get in the raft with my niece and nephew and just went clamoring in.  Of course, moments later we went through a tiny section of rapids and out he fell!  He was sitting on the edge and when the raft bumped a rock it was just enough to knock him out of the boat.  My sister in law was quick and grabbed him by the leg so he wasn't in the water long and never got his face wet.

He immediately said that we needed to go home and he didn't like rafting.  It took him some time to calm down and he definitely was a bit more clingy with me on the rest of the trip, but overall rafting was a blast!  I want to try and take him now down the American River before it gets to chilly.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013


Every single time I have been to Donner Lake I have always wanted to swim either the length or the width.  When I first started open water swimming many years ago I had it in my mind that I would do the Donner Lake swim.  In all the times I've gone though, I've never swam more than about 50 yards.  It always seemed choppy late in the day and I was always too chicken to swim in that cold water in the cold morning.

This trip I decided to not be a chicken!  I asked my nephew Hayden if he wanted to head out with me early in the morning and paddle along side me while I swam the width of the lake and back, which works out to be roughly 1.2 miles.  He was done and so we went for it.

When I stepped into that water it was CHILLY so I just dove it and started to swim.  I figured by the time we got to the other side and had to turn around I would be tired and wouldn't really want to swim back.  I was not!  In fact, when I was done, I could have gone again!!  It felt so good to get out there in that lake and challenge myself.  I've definitely developed a whole new attitude where I love pushing myself to my limits.

Now I'm really excited for the two other open water swims I have coming up this summer!

Monday, August 5, 2013

His first paddle!!!

My son does not love the water.  He did not inherit his mom's fish in the water genes.  I'm hoping it comes later, but for now I cling to every water moment I can get.  When I wanted to get a paddle board I was worried because it seemed like a very selfish hobby for the cost of a board.  I kept hoping that somehow, someway Leyton would enjoy it as much as I do and actually go on the board with me.

We arrived yesterday at Donner Lake and I asked him if he wanted to paddle with Mommy and was super excited when he replied YES!

The water was very choppy at the time we went so I spent the paddle on my knees or butt the whole time.  I didn't want to risk standing and having him fall off.

HE LOVED IT!  I was soo soo happy.  We go camping in a couple weeks and I can't wait to take the board and take Leyton on more paddles, hopefully in some calmer water!!

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Take me out to the ball game!

As a parent I have learned to not have high expectations.  That sounds so cynical, but I can't tell you how many times I plan something, have it all figured out in my head how it's going to go and it ends up going the complete opposite.  This happened enough that I just stopped having expectations of how something may go and just decided that we would roll with the punches once we got there.

Last night was a Getty Owl fundraiser at the Sacramento River Cats.  We decided to go as a family and met up with some friends there.  I was ready to go, stay for about an hour and leave.  I just couldn't imagine Leyton staying in a seat very long.

This was one of those moments that I was blown away and so happy with how the night went.  He hung out, he made us laugh, he ate snacks and was just all around adorable.

By the 6th inning I told him that if he made it the whole time there would be fireworks.  Up until this point the only fireworks he knows are the ones you do in front of your house.  Even as the words came out of my mouth I realized that 3 more full innings could take forever.

Thing is, he made it!  He hung out the whole time and in the end was AMAZED at the fireworks.

Now when he sees the ballpark he says, "Mommy, that's where the baseball is.  We should really go again."

Friday, August 2, 2013

I can't.

I realized something HUGE this week.  I was lying in bed and started thinking about where I am right now and how I got here.  How did I go from being the girl that ate fast food multiple times a day, drank a half gallon of diet soda and swam a couple days a week just so she wouldn't feel fat and lazy to the girl that is going to the gym 6 days a week, eats healthy and is constantly challenging herself to do something new.  I thought the answer would be complicated.  The truth of the matter is, it is so so simple.

I stopped telling myself I can't.

I didn't always tell myself that though.  There was a time that I went for it and in some aspects of my life I still did.  With regards to fitness and health, it all came to a screeching halt when I had my first surgery.  I had never had pain like that.  I had never had something that I had to challenge myself to overcome physically.  I started down a path of destruction and while I would sometimes get going in the right direction I kept falling back into old habits.

Then I had another surgery.  When I injured my knee I figured it was over.  There were points that I truly thought I would never walk again.  When I took my first steps I cried.  In that moment I should have realized all the things I was capable of.  Instead, I kept reminding myself of all the things I couldn't do.  I can't walk up stairs, I can't run, I can't do a squat, I can't bend my knee all the way, I can't crawl on my knees...blah blah blah.  It goes on and on.  All of those can'ts piled up until it started seeping into other aspects of my life.  I can't became my personal motto and the ability I gave two words to beat me down began.

How do I go forward now?  How do I eat raw for 30 days?  How do I do juice cleanses?  How do I eat clean?  How do I give up Diet Soda?  How do I not drink?  How do I work out as many days as possible?

Because I CAN.

You know what?  You can too!  I'm sure you have told yourself all the things I did.  I hate the gym.  I'm tired.  I'm too busy. I work.  I have an injury.  I'm too fat to do that.  I'm uncomfortable.  The thing will continue being all of those things if you don't do something about it!  I was tired ALL the time.  I woke up hungover EVERY morning and I didn't even drink!  I got winded going up stairs.  I absolutely HATED the gym and used the excuse "well, I'm just a swimmer."

All of those things were just ways that I told myself I can't.  Now that I know that I can, I sleep good at night, I feel good, I have a ton of energy, I love going up the stairs, I think about doing lunges every time I walk down a hallway, or squats while I'm standing in the bathroom, I LOVE THE GYM and can't wait for the next time I go just so I can have someone kick my ass.  I get literally PISSED at myself when my body won't lift something I want it to lift or do another rep of something I want it to do and instead of giving up I say FUCK IT because I know eventually I will do it!

How do I do all the stuff I do now, because I wake up every morning and tell myself I can.  Maybe you should try it too!

Today marks my 2nd day of juicing for my Weak Bod to Greek God Challenge.  I woke up this morning and was more tired then usual and a bit headachy.  When my alarm went off for the gym I figured there was no way I was going.  I knew if I tried I would likely faint.  Instead of staying in bed I got up and went for a long walk.  I listened to awesome music, drank a ton of water and got myself a green juice.  I felt so alive and so happy and proud of myself for getting out of bed.

When I got home I knew I had to take my before pictures for the challenge.  Typically all of my pictures I take by myself when no one is home..which is slightly ironic since I post them online for the world to see.  Today I asked my husband to take them for me.  I stood there confident and ready and now I can't wait to see what happens in 90 days.

It's hard to believe that not that long ago I wouldn't let my husband come in the room of my prenatal visits until after they weighed me.  I sure have come a long way and don't miss that at all.