Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Raw Challenge Day 3

Yesterday marked day 3 of the Green Boheme Raw Challenge.  When I woke up I knew it would be a better day because the detox symptoms had faded quite a bit and I just felt more awake and more alive.  It was in this moment that I thought, "I got this in the bag!"  Boy was I in for a surprise later that day.

I got going in the morning and made my green smoothie and my green juice.  I was a little afraid about doing this myself each day because I hate mornings to be honest.  I realized though that it's not really all that hard to do and since I have a bit more energy perhaps it will only get easier as my hate for mornings dissipates.

I got to work and was rocking and rolling all day long.  I felt full, I felt satisfied and had no cravings.  As I was driving home though I could feel my stress kick in.  Right now Leyton is a bear.  He's very defiant and out of control.  He doesn't listen and is getting in trouble all the time.  Sadly, this is making home one of the stressful places for me to be.  It also makes me want to eat.

When I walked in the door I had my snack for the day to curb the craving to eat and it totally worked.  I then made Leyton and Bill some spaghetti for dinner and plated my meal of enchiladas with rice and beans.  I added my own side of guac because I LOVE guacamole and thought it would be a perfect addition.  It was a beautiful plate.

We all sat down to eat and the struggles began.  Leyton wasn't listening and I found myself sitting there pissed that I couldn't just eat what they were eating.  I remember this happening quite a few times when I did the two week cleanse, in fact it would happen about every 3-4 days.  Each bite of enchilada that I took made me almost nauseous.  I'm not a big fan of mushrooms but so far have liked them in each meal I've had from Green Boheme.  This time though I could taste them, in fact they were all I could taste.  Oh I'm sure there were a ton of other flavors in there, but my mind got so locked into those mushrooms and the fact that I wasn't eating what my family was eating and it was making me almost sick.  So, I just stopped eating.  Instead I had about half a watermelon and a raw granola bar.  Sometimes when you are doing these things you just have to step away and get out of your head for a bit.  I know a half a watermelon and a granola bar isn't the most ideal dinner but it's what I needed to get through that moment.

After dinner the night only got worse.  I was extremely irritable and the kiddo was working every nerve.  At one point I just put my face down on the couch and started to cry.  Leyton broke a necklace that I wear all the time and it felt like the end of me.  In hindsight it was not a big deal but in that moment I had enough and my emotions just came pouring out.  Shortly thereafter Leyton was off to bed and I realized that in order to stop my emotional pattern I needed to get outside my head.

So I went swimming.

I haven't been in the pool in MONTHS.  Those first 8 laps were brutal.  My lungs were on fire and I was getting cramps but I just kept going and going and going until I had swam just shy of a mile.  I got out of that pool a new person.

This morning I am thankful that today is a new day, a time to get a fresh start and a time to make it better than the last!

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